I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
