Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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