Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
