So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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