i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you never un-have a 4some
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
