so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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