didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
