Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
