i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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