I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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