With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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