pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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