i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
