The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
