He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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