Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
