Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
nutella sex= disaster
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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