He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
where are you?
Hypothermia
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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