its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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