if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
FUCK WHALES
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
