Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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