If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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