Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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