You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
