I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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