I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
