i always forget guys have bellybuttons
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
