butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
More tranny stories later!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
NoShamevember. You game?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
