dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
