my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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