Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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