new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
