His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
