I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
