you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
