I'm really into asian looking animals
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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