So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
