She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
