am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
