I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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