Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
