So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
