i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
