She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
