im gay
i know
yea but for you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
