I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
