i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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