the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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