That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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