You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
