my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
