you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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