Where is the hickey?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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