I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Shame - the story of my life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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