I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
