I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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