Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
false alarm. still invincible.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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