I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
