he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
