We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
